Tag Archives: group dynamics

Shot in the chest or a stab in the back? (Leadership pains)

Shot in the chest or a stab in the back? Power-position of a Magical Initiator (or a Rebel Leader)

wolfman-by-ManiNavasothy-smHave you ever put people through trials and tests, and found you got shot in the chest by them? Those are the best results of the `test’ .  Getting stabbed in the back..? That’s a failed test!

Am sure not all will agree with such methods, but being in the public eye and in leadership, initiating and instigating many rebellious social or community ventures, I’ve gone down the routes of pushing and prodding people who are supposedly learning from me or following me into fire and battles.

Remember that a real Fire-alarm test happens when people don’t expect it…and not when everyone knows it’s at 10am on the first Tuesday of the month or something. Likewise, when people come to work with me magically, I usually afford them a honeymoon period of some months. I ask the question..over and over again.. here and there..formally and informally.. and the answer defines the unannounced `real life’ scenario..that an initiatory process threshold is about to be reached.. and to step over it is going to require work and trials and tests..and quests.

Yes in Magical traditions.. there are formal ceremonies and initiations. In my experience.. those are the end-markers of a process… the handing out of a Degree Certificate at a formal award ceremony in a hired Hall. Long before that.. the quests and tests begin..

Beginners Guide to running covens -by mani Navasothy2012-publicity1No formal contrived ceremonies or warnings. Just making use of real life events and opportunities that rise. Some call it manipulation. I call it real life training and initiation by fire… where the stakes are high and wins/ losses are felt for real.. and there are no safety nets, no backups and no resets.

This and more are coming up in detail.. `Beginners Guide to Running Wiccan Covens’ . It’s been a work in progress ..ever since I wrote the other book, `Coven Guide: How to become an Initiated Witch’ back in 2012.

-Mani Navasothy

 

Dealing with Kangaroo Courts in your Personal Relationships..!

Have you been tried in emotionally charged Kangaroo Courts?  

When a bunch of people say they want to `clear the air’, call you to a friendly meeting in their home-grounds, beware that shadow pack-mentality is already in play behind the scenes, and their subconscious minds are looking for ways to hammer you into some sort of submissions. Sadly their minds are already projecting their own shadows on you..and it’s because you are `not accepting’ that they’ve become disgruntled suddenly.. They will keep looking to find behavioral evidence in you that proves they were right about you after all.  Anything and.. sadly everything you say..  will be taken as evidence against you..and used to prove only your guilt.   It’s a no-justice situation.. !

Question of intention:

Personal meetings start with best of intentions..or so it will seem  (groups of friends, in membership organisations, private family circumstances).  But the question is …do you or others want a real resolution, or are you all just gunning for someone’s guts under a pretense of `clearing the air’?

Transpersonal concepts to look up (if you really are interested)

  • Shadows
  • Ego & super-Ego
  • Projections and Projection Breaking
  • Transference  and Counter transference.

Initial advise:  

 a) Avoid meeting in their home-grounds. Neutral places are very important.  You need to feel safe and secure, as much as others!

 b) Starting states:  Are you are already starting with apprehensions, possibly a sense of persecution?  Except lawyers, no one goes in to such meetings without apprehensions.   Having a friend there is a good idea.

c) Are you a Chicken?    Beware goading tactics by others – your confidence or calm posture is the first things people tend to `attack’ (consciously or not).  Bombarding you with issues, bringing up real  vulnerable old issues are ways others can keep you off your balance.   `challenging you’ into a corner, ie asking if you can handle things or not (goading your ego) is another tactics lawyers and naturally clever people use ..

 d)  If one or more party declares they are not in a good emotional place (due to other factors) or tired from a long day of work etc..  have the common sense and decency to  postpone..especially if a postponement has been asked for.  Don’t then throw emotional manipulation and force the meeting to go ahead anyway!    Physical or emotionally tired situations bring out inner-child tantrums ..it’s grossly unfair and counter-productive to what you ALL are trying or hoping to achieve, and these meetings need to be between adults..not your inner-children..  Playground is best for kids.. not reconcilliation meetings!!

 e) During meeting, make sure all parties are seated in a balanced way…no one sitting on a higher chair or lower than others (believe me, that’s actually a clever disempowerment technique! )

 f) Find a neutral 3rd party `facilitator’ …not one who is involved in the situation, or has strong bonds with the others (or with you).    And when a `facilitator’ has no counselling or psychology training, and is the one self-appointed or appointed by the other parties, that is already a clouded objective situation..!

 g) Do not represent your self..   You simply can’t when you are in a highly charged emotional state..and what you say will only be used against you. Even hardcore criminals have lawful proper representations!

 h) When others star by saying, we are all friends / family here and this is not a confrontation but a chance to clear the air or resolve matters – don’t fall for that. They may mean well but human nature quickly takes over..and so does mud-slinging, tit-for-tat cleverness, bullying, reverse psychology, playing the victim, turning on the tears and so on. Unless you are God or a Saint, one tiny negative (even perceived) comment WILL evoke an internal defensive or retaliation reaction.  Those will simmer and work in your or their subconscious through out, and will seek expression – not immediately, but 5 minutes, 10mins, 2 hrs or even 5 months later!

 i) It is best to enter these `meetings’ with plenty of safeguards of neutrality, objectivity and arbitration..  There is huge potential for making matters worse!

 j) When someone keeps accusing another of a particular action, there is 50 – 50 chance that a) they are making a real observation   and/or  b) they are projecting their own `stuff’

k) `I hear you’ is not the same as `I understand’..  and `I understand’ stated in the heat of a meeting does not necessarily mean they or you do understand on an emotional level.   Thinking & Feeling are on opposite ends of the spectrum in Psychology!

l) Often a single meeting is never enough to get to the heart of issues. Time needs to pass for all to absorb what each other have said, and further meet-ups are required..

 

I shall look through my years of Counselling & Psychology training notes, and add more tips here later..

-Mani Navasothy

ps. Originally posted as a `Note’ in my facebook page.   Find me on facebook ..look for my page..   Mani Navasothy