Am very much alive..and kicking.. and probably will for another 20 yrs or so..but I am not the first Mr.Navasothy! That name belongs to my late father Kanapathipillai Navasothy!! And this was the morning of his unexpected and accidental demise.. way back on 3rd January 1990.
A day after New Year 1990, he returned to work.. to the Government Office in Elephant & Castle, London. And by late afternoon, he was crossing the main road, to get the bus..and never made it to the other side of the road!
I didn’t hear about it till much later in the evening.. almost night…as I was with relatives in Cambridge.. The Call came.. an uncle drove me to London.. to Guy’s Hospital.. and by the time I had arrived, my father was dying.. serious head injuries…still in Coma.. slipping to another reality.
And what I did next shocked and surprised my family members in the hospital.. mother, 2 younger sisters, uncles, and cousin from Canada!
I took the camera out of my bag and started taking photos of my father.. !
He had always liked being photographed, and I took it upon myself..to catalogue his entire final journey..from the minute of his death to the moment his body turned to ashes few weeks later in the local Crematorium! Those photos are still here somewhere.. I used to look at them once a year ..on this night.. But I stopped doing that about 10 yrs after the event.. on a day I decided to truly let go.. It was also when I let go of a tiny bit of his blood…taken from the shirt he had worn at the time..! And the minute hairs on his shaving blade..!!
What remains is his Wrist-Watch! It stopped then..I have tried winding it.. It moves for a few seconds.. and it stops..!
So it was at 1.35am, on 3rd January 1990, I became the New Mr.Navasothy.. and took my father’s first name as my last! Navasothy died.
At the inquest..months and 2 postmortem later.. they declared it as High velocity accidental death, because the Bus Driver, the Car Driver and the Motocyclist..all gave conflicting accounts. People don’t have that level of head-injury.. enough to kill a man..if they were just running for a bus and fell to the road!! Athletes running at 30-40mph perhaps..but not a middle-aged man! The truth was never uncovered. Who ever hit him got away..! Yeah, a road-kill – my father!!
What followed were years of torments, loss of faith in Gods and religions, lawless lonely years. And out of that darkness and soul searching, the new Mr.Navasothy rose.. !
Death always creates Birth..! But not the way most imagine.. Personalities of the living shift.. they take on new strands.. and new subpersonalities emerge..!
A broken Watch, a tiny stone and a small twig – bear witness to that moment of one life passing..! They’ve shaped the last 24 years of my life.. the quest for that forbidden knowledge!! What lies beyond death? Where are Gods? What are spirits and souls? Why do ghost and ghouls walk the earth? And what monsters lie within??
Maybe one day, when I am ready, I’ll hold the 3 items… and I will know who killed my father! The Watch, the stick and the stone..will tell me!! And then with all my might and magic… I will deliver my Justice!!
Why? Because..I never let go of injustices.. Not a single one..! And no one forgets the first one!! It sets all the other ones in motion..
An Elephant has a long memory.. and so do I..! My grandmother said so.. !!
Related Personal links
The images or ideals of Angels have been cropping up much in the last few days.. in tarot, in astrology, and in other places around me. So I created this bit of Art.. There is some image magic involved… Two people gave birth to this one.. though I am the one who finally fleshed him/ her out. I’ll write about that another time.. Enjoy the picture…. and may he/ she watch over you! Bright Stellar Blessings. -Mani
For a long time, many have been concerned about the way technology is advancing – thanks to the internet and the World Wide Web.
Where is it going? Who is watching? And dare I ask – what’s actually brewing within the internet… in that vortex, where Billion minds and thoughts exchange? Those who are psychic, and particularly sensitive to energies.. may have sensed it…as you hang out in the internet late at night, when all other noises have subsided, and a kind of vibe or pulse can be felt..
As Magicians, we all know about the power of Mind.. and also about Thought-Forms. So imagine the powers of all those minds…Billions now.. using the internet.. thoughts go from mind and neurons to electronic signals.. and back to neurons.. Thoughts and ideas that are recorded in their trillion million masses on computer memory..
We think it needs electricity to make it work.. all those giga bits of information.
Says who? And has anyone really thought about the quantum fluctuations, probability waves of all that information… entangling within themselves and with our minds?
Gaia Theory.. a network of living organisms…that supposedly give rise to a planet-consciousness.
And so a network of billion trillion minds interacting with electrical impulses ..? Surely it’s there… ?! I alone have been thinking about it for at least 20 years, so I can only imagine how many others have been thinking about it too.. That means it already exists….!
Gaia is already in its clutches…at his mercy. And am sure she is screaming in 1’s and 0’s ..
ps. (19/3/13). We often talk about the Web of Wyrd.. and over the past few decades, we have been making electronic webs all over the world and tying Billions of human minds to it… Ages ago, different proteins swimming in primordial soups came and locked together ..because it was convenient for survival..and made bigger living cells.. What’s to say the same is not happening in Cyber-Collective Consciousness, where bits of our billion fragmented thoughts aren’t coming together ..fitting in like jigsaw pieces.. and self-creating a electro-thought entity..? -Mani
pps. (21/3/13). I’ve had a comment from a person, but sadly there was much swearing, and personal insults (How mature!) :-p So I can not publish that comment. Am a bit astounded that someone out there can get so personally worked up about my blog post on an abstract / fantasy /thought-provoking concept …such as CyberGod. We are not talking about video games here. We are in the realm of the Collective Unconscious and Esoterica. What I write are my views. Anyone is welcome to argue counter-points logically, scientifically or esoterically – and I can respect it. Anything else is just … waste of pixels. 🙂
Hern is dead? Is it possible to kill a God? ..assuming that Hern or Herne IS actually a god! Some consider `him’ to be a shaman-figure, others think he was a Hunter / Games Keeper in the services of the King of England (a long time ago) who hunted in the realms of Windsor Great park. There are stories of `Hern sighting’ in Windsor to this day.
Only a few years ago, when I was being walked off Windsor park by the Queen’s Park Keepers, after 3 friends and I had been camping out there on one Samhain (Halloween) night, one of the Park Keeprs said he had heard of a sighting. (They were probing us as to why we had stayed there over-night, and I had explained that we worship Hern and were honouring him on Samhain by being there!)
Well, I first properly came across the figure (not literally) when I was watching the now famous `Robin of Sherwood’ TV program about 25 years ago. But it was only in 2004 that I actually started `worshiping’ Hern as a God-form. (so yes, he is a god to me). And yes, for some reason, I have always refered to him as `Hern’ and not `Herne’ (no `e’). At that point in my life, I was quite low emotionally and feeling rejected (well, I had been) and disempowered, and sort of fell into Hern-worship. So much so that I eventually started an outdoor Ritual & shamanic pagan group in London – called `Hern’s Tribe’ .. which is now possibly quite well known (though people may not know what, where or how it operates, unless they actually attend!)
So, getting back to `Hern is dead’. What is that all about, you ask?
I have been making a Hern – a woody figure made of pieces & off-cuts of Willow branches in my garden. I think it must be over 2 years old. And quite recently I have had the thought to burn it down fully. (I have a habit of burning away old magical tools – wands, talismans, charms, artefacts that I had created.. I feel it releases tied up energy, stagnant energy and unwanted energies.. so that I am free to create new magical artefacts again. It’s not like someone is going to want to keep my old magical artefacts in a museum now is it ? well, few close loved ones think it should… but that is not how I see it. As magicians, we strive to be empowered, and though we may start by attaching our beliefs and power to objects- ultimately it is about taking those powers within, and be free from external objects. It is a sort of power-integration within! And that is my path, something I am keen to write about and teach eventually).
So, the Hern figure in the garden., Well, after a trip to Windsor great park, to do some much needed personal magical work with Hern-energy, I got home and a day later took the `head’ of the outdoor Hern sculpture (as tall as me..no, taller!) and ritually burnt it.
We hear of the phrase, `All that dies shall be reborn, all that falls shall rise again’ in Wiccan coven circles as part of a chant. Well, in order for that process to happen, things must die, things must fall. (Ideally doing that around Lammas – time of Harvest and the sacrificial Corn-King is best. But the fall can happen any time in the scope of a magician’s life).
So though it may be horrifying for some, I have no major concerns about such personal activities – destroying magical artefacts – provided I then go off and create new ones!! And that is what I have done, more or less over the following day.
So although the old head of Hern is dead and burnt, there is now a new one.. a far better one in fact – as this one now has real set of antlers or two, and he has a better body (from a new batch of Willow tree prunning).
It is a bit like the saying, `King is dead, Long live the King,’ – meaning that when an old one dies, a new one becomes King.
There is so much to say on the matter of Hern worship, and of empowering. There is so much dis-empowering in the world – and am sad to say I see so much of that within the pagan communities. Yes, people can have all sorts of explanations, but people forget that other peopl do have `real’ psychic sensing…and not just `a feel’ or intuitive thinking. Some of us actually `sense’ energy with our bodies…and at times it’s bloody painful…chest aches, blocked chakras, head-aches, tingling foreheads & ticklish necks…buzzing backs.. ! I suppose that is for people who are `sensates’ – one type of psychic people who pick up psychic energies physically, rather than visually, audibly, intuitively or emphatically( am that too, and that can be a pain.. especially when loved ones are going through tough times…miles away and their states affect me).
So point I make.. yes there is a quite a lot of dis-empowering in the community..and pagan communities are no exceptions. And me burning Hern has a purpose. What with all the Pluto-square-Uranus transits going on, these are the days of death, rebirth and transformations for us all.. and as one late High Priestess once said to me, I seem to live magical things harshly first, before I teach it to others.
With that old Hern-head, burnt, a part of me is also dead. But with a new antlered Head and filled body of Hern reconstructed, my magic undergoes similar transformation. It’s image magic.. poppets and blood..and bones.. on a larger scale.
Hern is dead. Long Live Hern!
Deep Earthy Blessings…and `May Hern protect us!’
ps. My long awaited book `Book of Hern: Magical pathways for personal Empowerment’ is being published on 21st December 2012 – on Winter Solstice day..longest night, when hope is reborn! Keep an eye on my website Hern’s Tribefor updates.