Tag Archives: shadows

The Thinking Dust

I have no blooming idea who I am.. artist, writer, magician, shaman, witch, Wiseman, trickster, director, producer..blah.. blah.. In the end.. I think I am Mani.. yay.. great conclusion to a long quest, right? Wrong! Even that is a name given to me by my parents (not even the first one.. they gave me another name..and changed their minds and few weeks later went and changed it on the certificate :-p ) So anyway as I often point out.. the magical / witch / shaman names we give ourselves in initiation rituals is a tad bit more of our own choosing than the name we’ve been stuck / blessed with since our birth. (hint: They call it `given name’ .. perhaps all forms we fill should henceforth have ..along with `give name, family name, married name’ another box too.. called `chosen name’ ?!)
blog The thinking dust 12march2018
But anyway.. so the only way forward ..is to go backward and clean up all this transpersonal mess.
This is why in esoteric realms, we rant on about `Know Thy self’.. not easy as it sounds..or all these born-last-night-gurus make it out to be. `Know thy Self’ is a quest that can first strip you bare to the bone.. and then some more.. It’s more than just `breakdown to breakthrough’.. !
I remember an episode in the old Babylon-5, when Captain Sheridan goes to the Shadow world ..and dies..as forecasted. (`If you go to Zahadum, you will die’) . Then a whole episode came up where he finds himself in a dark cave.. ( how symbolic and womb-like) and with an ancient wise-alien (Lorien the First One).. and the one question Lorien kept asking.. `Who are you?’. Sheridan has to figure this out before he is somehow brought back to life in `our world’.. (self realisation gives birth to identity?!) with some sort of borrowed time.. (spoiler alert – decades later, he goes into space and just sort of fades/ bursts into light).
This has stayed with me for so long.. and I marvel at the deeper transpersonal symbology behind it all.. Going into our own shadows and clearing it means we experience a death…because the old self full of shadows changes…(death and rebirth).. The question `who are you’ is the most powerful one of all that kills everything we think and feel we are… till we reach a single simple deeper truth (can’t tell you what that is ..it may be different for you and me).
And at our eventual physical death, all that energy locked up in our body is released. Okay when its’ cremation or decades of decay in a coffin below ground.. we don’t see this energy release…But if it were to happen in one moment..we’d see all of our `mass’ transform into energy (light).. After all. it was light (energy) that was transformed into mass in the first place…inside a star.. long before we even became born as humans. (every atom in out body came from something else around us.. food..air..water.. but it can all be traced back to the star where it was created out of energy…cos `we are star dust’).
So is that who you are…a thinking piece of Star Dust?
What about before?
wait a sec.. !!!
Am I going too far ..too wide..too deep and too long into the past? well.. did you travel with me down this Quantum rabbit hole? Great… ‘cos this was step one of the `Know thy self’!
Now go beyond!!!
-Mani Navasothy

A Prelude to Imbolc

Prelude to Imbolc - Mani Navasothy 2017.jpg

— A Prelude to Imbolc —————–

Some stories end..
Sometimes sadness descends for no reasons known..
and shadows just rise and cloak us..and choke us..

MidWinter may have passed and Sun-child may be born..
But we are entering the deepest part of winter..this.. now..

And here we plea to the Winter-Goddess
to loosen her grip on the world..
And here we lament for the passing of the old…
And here, soon we’ll call on the renewed great Virgin
Goddess of Love & Healing to appear from her place of snow and Ice.. unto our world once more,
Lit by a path of light and flames.

And then snow will stop falling..
and snow drops will rise..
the land will turn from grey with hints of green..and yellow..

All that is yet to come..
But.. we are entering the deepest part of Winter..!

Remember the small gaps through which sands of time slip..
Remember too the face of the clown behind the mask..
Remember the tears never seen..
and the bleeding heart of the Knight behind armour..
And sorrows behind smiles..

So then..
’til the New moon.. !

(c) Mani Navasothy – Jan’17

Life is a Spiral – not a Circle (motivational)

Life is a Spiral (c)ManiNavasothy2014
Life is a Spiral      art (c) Mani Navasothy 2014

Life is not a circle..but a spiral.

Cycles seem to come around, same things seem to repeat..but each time we are moving slightly up or down in progress.. and each time, we should try to do things slightly different, to see if energies and life shifts to better states..

At times, others may try to keep us in the same spot, or collapse our life from a spiral to a circle.. Not letting that happen is also hard work.. (in other words, letting people’s expectations and projections getting the better of us..).

Its hard enough each of us having to work on our own shadows, issues and projections.

So let’s make it easy on one another..

Life is not a Circle. Life is a spiral..

Let’s keep moving ..from the deep subconscious prompts onwards and upwards to our higher selves ..

-Mani Navasothy


Thoughts on Diplomacy & Politics

I sometimes think that Diplomacy is a double-edged sword – in that it appears to serve both parties, but the `Diplomat’ surely must have an inner personal motive, or some sort of loyalty – to even start engaging in the process. Often in heated battles situations (wars!), the Diplomat does not rise from one of the warring sides. But it is a person(s) from a 3rd party. All seems to go well until tables are turned (and tables always get turned in real life). When a conflict arises in the backyard of the Diplomatic Agency or person, how they react often determines their true metal!

I find that Diplomats are fine, and preach much noble ways, as long as they have no personal involvement. But should there be any, the very same people seem to react in the most undiplomatic manner. Governments, agencies, and people in positions of power have all done this. In this sense, I think of diplomats as rather cunning and cowardly. (The word Self-serving comes to mind too – but then show me one person on this planet who is not self-serving?! We all are!)

I’ve thought about global  examples..   how the British or American diplomats enter Eastern war zones and carry out mediations. Fine and dandy. But when some sort of war comes to their own lands (home), all such approaches seem to go out the window!  Local and national governments, or governing bodies – who perceive the  threat don’t sit around calling foreign diplomats to help. No. They get their military in ship-shape first; and their weapons; and their internal security measures, surveillances.. and of course they start to pass new laws to defend themselves, and to give themselves `new legitimate’ powers – so they can do anything, and call it `okay’.  Look at all the cameras around London..  look at all the new laws..  all since the few  deaths by terror attacks on a bus, a station or a building in a few Western cities. But out there in the rest of the world, whole cities are getting blown to bits – and that some how seems to be acceptable..

If you think I am talking about international wars and peace  processes, and that none of these will touch you personally – think again!

How well do you know the politicians and Diplomats in your community? When I say `know’ I mean their real darker sides that you don’t see – because you never challenged their core, and so they never have had reasons to show a personal retaliation. Politicians in power  do play long games well…  they are good at it..  a hand-shake here, a hug there, kiss a baby here, make a speech there, cut a ribbon here – and stitch someone else in the dark!

Think about all the Dictators in the world – none of them gained power through war. No. First they won their people’s hearts with politics, diplomacy and promises. And when they were in power, they started making deals, and secret promises to their loyal commanders, and threats to anyone who dare oppose them..  That’s how their empires grew- and it takes decades sometimes.. for true colours to show.

It is not guerilla warriors who employ terror tactics. Politicians do it 10 times more. Politicians in power use outside events ( a bomb here, an attack there) to their advantage – and use it to stoke people’s fears more..  and offer solutions in the form of new measures, rules, systems and laws! And they line their supporters in other places of power – so that when a `democratic vote’ takes place within an elected body- they are sure to have support.  It all looks perfectly democratic. But beneath the surface, their shadows move and grow!

I’ve never liked politics or diplomacy. Just can’t trust it.  Am a get up and go kind of guy.  Am an action man – who shows his happy face and the angry face – as and when it happens. I growl, I snarl, and do fight tooth-n-nail to the last drop of my blood. My family & friends might not like it, but they know what they are getting..

My darker side is in full light of the world!   Can diplomats and Politicians  say the same?

I think not.

-Mani Navasothy

Brain & Storms: Weather Magic up a Tree

Okay am not that creative with the title of this blog post…but if you don’t care then neither do I..  What matters is the content right?

I’ve talked in past blogs about my affinity with trees, ons in my back garden and ones out there in the woods.. and I’ve also talked about my excitement for stormy weather..  There was that one time I was by the coast, and I got out of the Bed & Breakfast April & I were staying at…at midnight, and ran to the nearby sea-front..  to experience those 70mph winds ..

But most of the time, nearest I get to during gale force winds and storms ..is the tree in the garden – like today!

I’ve been quite busy with a lot of writing.. few eBooks have been completed and uploaded to Amazon Kindle, but a few more are nearing final form.. but meanwhile the quarterly issue of Gaian Times is now due…so  the work on books have paused, while I put together the latest Gaian Times (so many contributions from 5 brilliant ladies in this coming issue…I;ll say more when it’s launched…later today).

Point is, I have spent quite a lot of time in this last year – sitting in the corner of my room, surrounded by house plants for companionship – day or late nights – (and some of them have been with me for year 10 years…on my desk at Home Office, then on my desk-side at Tamil Welfare Charity project..and now by my side in my room)..  I don;t just sit of course – am writing, writing, writing.

The last time I write like this was back in 1992-3, when I finished my 3rd book of fiction.  And then..  I stopped…until last year (2011).. and now I can’t stop..  I am not in my 20’s but in my 40’s now..and I have the whole experiences and thoughts of the last 20 years to put into books..  fictions and non-fictions..   My brain has not stopped and it affects (in a psychic sort of way) my wife April too.

So it was good today…like any other day of high winds and storms – to get out there, and be up on a wildly shaking tree.  I’ve previously said it’s akin to riding a giant Dragon or a beast (it would have to be a giant, right?).  It’s raining, the skies are gloomy and threatening..   winds are wild…and the tree itself – having still got half its leaves – is waving about crazily with loud howling sounds..  Big branches that are resting on one another do creak …again like some dragon!

No magic wands, or Witchy swords to hold up this time, am afraid..   But I did take my mug of coffee, and sipped it while being up there 🙂

And I let it all go..  all the storms and rage, feelings of anger, and frustrations of injustices done against me in recent 3-4 weeks..  (People have been  telling me to do this for weeks, but it’s not been that easy ..in the face of continuing attacks by some fools….So it takes something as mighty as  Storm’s help for me to `clear mt head’ ).  I just unzipped my aura, let it all hang out like a giant sheet of clothing, waving equally wildly in the storm..  and let the storm brush off all the crap that has accumulated inside my aura – negative energies people have throw my way, psychological shadow projections and more.  There have been darker deeper moments  in the recent past – the cruelty and inhumanity of people who are supposedly spiritual and pagan yet turning into incarnations worthy of being the devil himself has had – at times pushed me to despair I must confess.

Oh, it’s not that I was weak – with Hern the Hunter in my life and a few other deities who shall remain nameless for now, I have never had fear. But I’ve asked Gaia the Earth goddess the question why such cruelty exists within our worlds? And why I must go through such abuse, despite all the heartfelt and genuine services I have given to my families, friends, coven and pagan community – so much of my time, so much of my own money ( never asked for it back), so much of my faith and energies…and still why this return?  It almost makes me wonder about the famous 3-fold law of return that Wiccans and Pagans talk about.  (I now think it’s just a fairy-tale scare-tactics).

And then the answers come flooding..   Yes, I know the psychology of people..  I know the Shadows that lurk in every human..  and wounded inner-children looking for a mother or father to care about them, and if that does not happen, put blames on! And sometimes, just sometimes, people project those on to other people – especially their shadows… and if they have unresolved dislikes of themselves,  that gets projected too on to others – who just happen to be the `right fit’ to carry such a projection – and then it’s easy to hate that person, rather than face the dislikes within.

There are so many of Gaia’s sick children out  there – and they do project such pain and hurt – which is inside them, and it is up to the real Priests and Priestesses to understand, attend to and offer love and healing.

As the storm rages on, brushing all that negativity out of my aura – I just sit up that tree, and sip my coffee..  Sometimes, it is not the case that `As above, so below’   – There is a storm above and without, but below and within, I enjoyed the most peace I have had in a long time! My tingling head tells me magic was happening..:-)

-Mani Navasothy