Gaslighting: Know It and Identify It to Protect Yourself (psychology)

What’s Gaslighting?  A manipulative tactics employed by  a person, organisation or entity to gain more power!   Here’s a copy of article blog  found, written by Stephanie Sarkis Ph.D. Stephanie Sarkis Ph.D. (link at the bottom).-Mani


Gaslighting is a tactic of behavior in which a person or entity, in order to gain more power, makes a victim question their reality. It works a lot better than you may think. Anyone is susceptible to gaslighting. It is a common technique of abusers, dictators, narcissists, and cult leaders. It is done slowly, so the victim doesn’t realize how much they’ve been brainwashed. In the movie Gaslight (1944), a man manipulates his wife to the point where she thinks she is losing her mind.

People that gaslight use the following techniques:

1. They tell you blatant lies.

You know it’s an outright lie. Yet they are telling you this lie with a straight face. Why are they so blatant? Because they’re setting up a precedent. Once they tell you a huge lie, you’re not sure if anything they say is true. Keeping you unsteady and off-kilter is the goal.

2. They deny they ever said something, even though you have proof.

You know they said they would do something…you know you heard it. But they out and out deny it. It makes you start questioning your reality – maybe they never said that thing. And the more they do this, the more you question your reality and start accepting theirs.

3. They use what is near and dear to you as ammunition.

They know how important your kids are to you, they know how important your identity is to you. So that is one of the first things they attack. If you have kids, they tell you that you did a disservice by having those children. They will tell you that if only you weren’t _____________, you’d be a worthy person. They attack the foundation of your being.

4. They wear you down over time.

This is one of the insidious things about gaslighting – it is done gradually, over time. A lie here, a lie there, a snide comment every so often…and then it starts ramping up. Even the brightest, most self-aware people can be sucked into gaslighting – it is that effective. It’s the “frog in the frying pan” analogy – the heat is turned up slowly, so the frog never realizes what hit it.

5. Their actions do not match their words.

When dealing with a person or entity that gaslights, look at what they are doing rather than what they are saying. What they are saying means nothing. It is just talk. What they are doing is the issue.

6. They throw in positive reinforcement to confuse you.

This person or entity that is cutting you down, telling you that you don’t have value – is now praising you for something you did. This adds an additional sense of uneasiness. You think, “Well maybe they aren’t so bad.” Yes, they are. This is a calculated attempt to keep you off-kilter – and again, question your reality. Also look at what you were praised for – it is probably something that served the gaslighter.

7. They know confusion weakens people.

Gaslighters know that all people like having a sense of stability and normalcy. Their goal is to uproot this and make you constantly question everything. And humans’ natural tendency is to look to the person or entity that will help you feel more stable – and that happens to be the gaslighter.

8. They project.

They are a drug user or a cheater – yet they are constantly accusing you of that. This is done so repetitively that you start trying to defend yourself – and are distracted from the gaslighter’s own behavior.

9. They try to align people against you.

Gaslighters are masters at manipulating and finding the people they know will stand by them no matter what – and they use these people against you. They will make comments such as “____________ knows that you’re not right”, or “___________ knows you’re useless too”. Keep in mind it does not mean that these people actually said these things. The gaslighter is a constant liar. When the gaslighter uses this tactic it makes you feel like you don’t know who to trust or turn to – and that leads you right back to the gaslighter. And that’s exactly what the want. Isolation gives them more control.

10. They tell you or others that you are crazy.

This is one of the most effective tools of the gaslighter – because it’s dismissive. The gaslighter knows if they question your sanity, people will not believe you when you tell them the gaslighter is abusive or out-of-control. It’s a master technique.

11. They tell you everyone else is a liar.

By telling you that everyone else (your family, the media) is a liar, it again makes you question your reality. You’ve never known someone with the audacity to do this, so they must be right, right? No. It’s a manipulation technique. It makes people turn more to the gaslighter for the “correct” information – which isn’t correct information at all.

The more you are aware of these techniques, the quicker you can identify them before you fall into the gaslighter’s trap.

Copyright 2017 Sarkis Media.   http://www.stephaniesarkis.com


article taken from https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/here-there-and-everywhere/201701/gaslighting-know-it-and-identify-it-protect-yourself


 

 

In deeds may we be noble once more! (Solar oath)

In deeds may we be noble once more…! ( A Solar Oath):

Good morning all.. There is so much positive, creative, wonderful, affectionate, loving, kind, generous, divine things to be thinking about and doing in the world.. 🙂

Yes there are worries.. :-/ and sadly human nature is such that…there is a compulsion and need to want to talk about it. Simmer and fester..and chase our own tails..! 😦 (That’s actually not human nature.. It’s a wounded Inner-child behaviour).

One of the key magical principles.. – even by all that airy fairy quantum probability/ observer/ collapse wave function thingy! – is that what we think and pour energy into starts to manifest…!!

So make it a good thought eh? 🙂 Have a great day! 🙂

Am posting a part of the Solar-prayer/ invocation I wrote/ used at a recent Midsummer ritual:

“Great One of Heaven, Powers of the Sun
We worship thee in thy ancient names
Sooriya, Sol, Lugh, Ra and Horus
Rise up in our skies.. and illuminate our lands
….
….
Bring us clear Visions.
Illuminate our souls.
Set free all spirits that seek liberation.
In our dreams, may we soar to new heights.
And in deeds may we be Noble once more.
May our hearts be full of honour.
And may we forever shine in your splendour.”

-Mani Navasothy

Divine Battles within

Divine Battles within:

As much as I like to `resign’ from Life, Universe and the internet :-p there’s just too much crap going on in the world…for me and anyone with Gaia-consciousness to stay on the sidelines and look for Himalayas to retreat to.

THIS is our battle.. to keep the divine faith in our souls, hopes in our hearts, stay cautiously optimistic, unconditionally positive, challenge any and all ill-doings elsewhere and everywhere.. and stand up for a better world – no matter how gloomy things may look.. and how close the Four Horsemen seem to be. This is where our warrior-energies are need… not to fight, to hurt, maim or kill a fellow human..but to put to flight the welling darkness and rising illusions and delusions.

This battle is not fought with side-arms & arrows, mace or missiles – but with patience, endurance, inner strength and a strong belief within.. Doesn’t matter what god or goddess or divine being you believe it…but believe it.. and make him/ her/ it be your peaceful power and strength.. !

The inner child may be afraid.. and throws tantrums, seeking attention. But it is seeking safety, support and love. Not just yours or mine..but all the Inner-Children of the billions of people on Earth! As adults, we can exude positivity, assurance, offer support, emotional acceptance and understanding.

This is the time for all of our Love, light and compassionate, nurturing, empowering thoughts, feelings and deeds to rise to the surface and spread.

Bright Stellar Blessings!
-Mani Navasothy

AstroAlert: Intense aspects 2nd- 6th June 2016

Watch out friends.. There’s no less that 6 tough aspects coming up between 2-5th June (2 per day)…squares & oppositions. These are going to be stressful..(you may have already started to pick up on these energies over the past 2-3 days, as the aspects are brewing!).  Take note of the issues that are coming up..  look for past patterns, and if you dealt with them or not..and take action this time around.   Because there are 6 of these all happening close to one another, it will be difficult to separate many underlying issues  (as there will be more that one..  seeing 4 Sun signs and 5 ruling planets are involved, severely affecting no less that 8 signs.

The infographics I created below should give you easy to understand details..if you just look at the aspects, dates, signs etc, and also read the notes dotted around the chart!

AstroAlert:  Stressful and challenging aspects coming up 2nd-6th June 2016 .  Infographics (c) Mani Navasothy www.QuantumPhoenix.net

AstroAlert: Stressful and challenging aspects coming up 2nd-6th June 2016 . Infographics (c) Mani Navasothy http://www.QuantumPhoenix.net

***Follow the numbers (1), (2), (3)..etc  to see the order/ date of when each aspect is culminating.**

 what aspects / When / what time  :  (all times are GMT) 

  1. Sun-square-Neptune      2nd June  –  02:42 hrs.
  2. Venus-square-neptune   3rd June   –  04:14 hrs.
  3. Sun-opposes- Saturn     3rd June    –   06:37 hrs.
  4. Venus-opposes-Saturn    4th June   –  00:47 hrs.
  5. Sun-square-Jupiter   4th June         –    10:57 hrs.
  6. Venus-square-Jupiter   5th June    –     00:49 hrs.
  7.   Sun-conjuncts-Venus   6th June    –   21:49 hrs.

What Signs are `severely’ affected .

Note ..where ever a planet is (ie a sign that is not your birth sign), it is still going to be in a house-position in your natal chart (like romance sector, love, work, siblings, socials etc).  So these are going to affect all of you… But the following are going to feel it intensely (based on the signs ruled by these planets and the signs these planets are currently transiting)!

  • Saturn in Sagittarius affects Capricorns & Sagittarius
  • Jupiter in Virgo affects  Sagittarians & Virgos
  • Venus in Gemini & Sun in Gemini affects Gemini, Leo, Taurus, Libra
  • Neptune in Pisces affects Pisces

Note on squares & oppositions:

  • Squares can be very stressful. Deal with that energy by making decisions and take action.
  • Oppositions are equally challenging. Deal with it by integrating opposing interests or compromising

Normally you will `feel’ the stress / energies of any aspects or transits a day or few hours Before the actual transit takes places
(ie as the energy is `brewing’).

Soothing relief 6th June 2016.

On 6th June, Venus conjunct the Sun. The energy of this will be a soothing relief after the previous 6 stressful aspects, and will be healing and productive.. if the other energies have been accepted and `worked’ with.

Additional notes (No grand square):
There will be no `grand cross’ even though it looks like it, because of the following..

Saturn 13’Sagittarius
Neptune 12′ Pisces
Jupiter 14′ Virgo

Jupiter already squared Saturn on 26 May, and Saturn will square Neptune on 18th June.

In my forecasts..i’ve given dates/ signs affected by all these.. but NOT actually talked about the implications of each of the aspects…That’s a big thing in itself.. Haven’t had much time.. and perhaps am not meant to give s much info.. and fate should play its hand..and we’ll just have to trust and go with the processes. I only mainly do astroforecasts ..as a way of saying that ..even when there’s tough times ahead..there’s always hope for better things…as can be seen by this phase.. After the 6 stressful aspects, on the 6th of June…Sun and venus conjunct..and that’s going to be all good..

Bright Stellar Blessings

-Mani Navasothy (AstroMage) 🙂

AstroAlert: Jupiter squares Saturn (26May2016)

You all know ..I don’t do long complicated forecasts..   I give you the bare bones..and let your own intuition fill up the substance.  So here we go..with a very sharp, painful one coming up..where you’ll be locking horns, and breaking a few (some yours too).

If you are already feeling push & pulls, facing some hard knocks & impending doom (lessons in disguise), wrangles with the system or authority figures, fighting some personal shadows & demons within, struggling with some sort of excessiveness, lack of growth or expansions, even failed gambles & risks..

Jupiter-square-saturn 26May2016 - quantumphoenix blog by mani.jpg

..well..  you and everyone – especially Sagittarians,  Capricorns & Virgos- are under the influence of this hard aspect that has been brewing for a while now..and is about to reach its intensity on 26th May 2016 (tomorrow, as I write this).

Jupiter is squaring (up) with Saturn!

Hang in there…keep being open to lessons that are in disguise..  don’t give into fears, deal with them, but stand your ground, be firm & assertive too..and above all do that thing that most Sagittarians do (a quality we can all use at a time like this)..  Be Optimistic! Have Faith!!

It may take a few days to reel and recover from this… and start assimilating the energies and insights (for God’s sake..  don’t forget the sharp insights that are coming up!!)

Bright Stellar Blessings

-Mani Navasothy

ps. stay tuned to my blogs, as I step up to do more regular astrology forecasts and blogs…(like I used to..! ) Oh yeah..I have my lessons to learn and my own shadows to face too 🙂

Moral Compass & Magic

Moral compass & Magic (pt1):
A friend was asking others about this.. Made me think.. and here’s my radical thoughts (`thought in progress’..I’ll come back to this later):

magic and moral compass

1. Magic..for those who work it..should be everyday stuff .. not something to use until till some pivotal, crisis or noble cause strikes. If you know it, use it as you would use your hand, legs, mind, heart, eyes!

2. Anyone on the planet can learn / practise magic.. So it’s not an exclusive `advantage’ or responsibility resting in the hands of some elite or select bunch of Gurus and Wizards. All can have access to it..

3. As for moral compass.. that’s just too cerebral.. way too many laws and rules.. made up by those ahead of us or gone before.. just disempowering, holier-than-thou, scaremongering-crap..

No moral compass is needed! `Do what thou Will’..full stop!

In wicca, there’s the `rule’  – `An it harm none, do what you will’.   Well, if we take magic as something that is possible (albeit, with some training & development for some..and more natural for others),  then it ceases to be a special case that requires special rules. The `an it harm none..’ applies to *anything* we do in life with any thing we have- … hands, gun, swords, words.  We should strive not to hurt or harm anyone or anything (an impossibility in itself..but that’s another debate).  

As I said, my radical thoughts.

Bright Blessings.
-Mani Navasothy

Breaking Hearts maketh our Future

Breaking Hearts maketh our Future

(c) Mani Navasothy

Breaking hearts maketh our future - by Mani Navasothy 2016

The battle for our future is

not decided by aliens & humans,

nor by saints or soldiers, politicians or eco-activists…

but by the human heart

– not when it is happy but when it is breaking!

That is when the measure of a man or women is revealed..!

If it is love and compassion that surfaces,

humanity will be saved..

and if it is vengeance,

then we will sink,

and the planet will have rid of us

and Gaia will start anew!

 

(c) Mani Navasothy