I’ve talked in past blogs about my affinity with trees, ons in my back garden and ones out there in the woods.. and I’ve also talked about my excitement for stormy weather.. There was that one time I was by the coast, and I got out of the Bed & Breakfast April & I were staying at…at midnight, and ran to the nearby sea-front.. to experience those 70mph winds ..
But most of the time, nearest I get to during gale force winds and storms ..is the tree in the garden – like today!
I’ve been quite busy with a lot of writing.. few eBooks have been completed and uploaded to Amazon Kindle, but a few more are nearing final form.. but meanwhile the quarterly issue of Gaian Times is now due…so the work on books have paused, while I put together the latest Gaian Times (so many contributions from 5 brilliant ladies in this coming issue…I;ll say more when it’s launched…later today).
Point is, I have spent quite a lot of time in this last year – sitting in the corner of my room, surrounded by house plants for companionship – day or late nights – (and some of them have been with me for year 10 years…on my desk at Home Office, then on my desk-side at Tamil Welfare Charity project..and now by my side in my room).. I don;t just sit of course – am writing, writing, writing.
The last time I write like this was back in 1992-3, when I finished my 3rd book of fiction. And then.. I stopped…until last year (2011).. and now I can’t stop.. I am not in my 20’s but in my 40’s now..and I have the whole experiences and thoughts of the last 20 years to put into books.. fictions and non-fictions.. My brain has not stopped and it affects (in a psychic sort of way) my wife April too.
So it was good today…like any other day of high winds and storms – to get out there, and be up on a wildly shaking tree. I’ve previously said it’s akin to riding a giant Dragon or a beast (it would have to be a giant, right?). It’s raining, the skies are gloomy and threatening.. winds are wild…and the tree itself – having still got half its leaves – is waving about crazily with loud howling sounds.. Big branches that are resting on one another do creak …again like some dragon!
No magic wands, or Witchy swords to hold up this time, am afraid.. But I did take my mug of coffee, and sipped it while being up there 🙂
And I let it all go.. all the storms and rage, feelings of anger, and frustrations of injustices done against me in recent 3-4 weeks.. (People have been telling me to do this for weeks, but it’s not been that easy ..in the face of continuing attacks by some fools….So it takes something as mighty as Storm’s help for me to `clear mt head’ ). I just unzipped my aura, let it all hang out like a giant sheet of clothing, waving equally wildly in the storm.. and let the storm brush off all the crap that has accumulated inside my aura – negative energies people have throw my way, psychological shadow projections and more. There have been darker deeper moments in the recent past – the cruelty and inhumanity of people who are supposedly spiritual and pagan yet turning into incarnations worthy of being the devil himself has had – at times pushed me to despair I must confess.
Oh, it’s not that I was weak – with Hern the Hunter in my life and a few other deities who shall remain nameless for now, I have never had fear. But I’ve asked Gaia the Earth goddess the question why such cruelty exists within our worlds? And why I must go through such abuse, despite all the heartfelt and genuine services I have given to my families, friends, coven and pagan community – so much of my time, so much of my own money ( never asked for it back), so much of my faith and energies…and still why this return? It almost makes me wonder about the famous 3-fold law of return that Wiccans and Pagans talk about. (I now think it’s just a fairy-tale scare-tactics).
And then the answers come flooding.. Yes, I know the psychology of people.. I know the Shadows that lurk in every human.. and wounded inner-children looking for a mother or father to care about them, and if that does not happen, put blames on! And sometimes, just sometimes, people project those on to other people – especially their shadows… and if they have unresolved dislikes of themselves, that gets projected too on to others – who just happen to be the `right fit’ to carry such a projection – and then it’s easy to hate that person, rather than face the dislikes within.
There are so many of Gaia’s sick children out there – and they do project such pain and hurt – which is inside them, and it is up to the real Priests and Priestesses to understand, attend to and offer love and healing.
As the storm rages on, brushing all that negativity out of my aura – I just sit up that tree, and sip my coffee.. Sometimes, it is not the case that `As above, so below’ – There is a storm above and without, but below and within, I enjoyed the most peace I have had in a long time! My tingling head tells me magic was happening..:-)