Shot in the chest or a stab in the back? Power-position of a Magical Initiator (or a Rebel Leader)
Have you ever put people through trials and tests, and found you got shot in the chest by them? Those are the best results of the `test’ . Getting stabbed in the back..? That’s a failed test!
Am sure not all will agree with such methods, but being in the public eye and in leadership, initiating and instigating many rebellious social or community ventures, I’ve gone down the routes of pushing and prodding people who are supposedly learning from me or following me into fire and battles.
Remember that a real Fire-alarm test happens when people don’t expect it…and not when everyone knows it’s at 10am on the first Tuesday of the month or something. Likewise, when people come to work with me magically, I usually afford them a honeymoon period of some months. I ask the question..over and over again.. here and there..formally and informally.. and the answer defines the unannounced `real life’ scenario..that an initiatory process threshold is about to be reached.. and to step over it is going to require work and trials and tests..and quests.
Yes in Magical traditions.. there are formal ceremonies and initiations. In my experience.. those are the end-markers of a process… the handing out of a Degree Certificate at a formal award ceremony in a hired Hall. Long before that.. the quests and tests begin..
No formal contrived ceremonies or warnings. Just making use of real life events and opportunities that rise. Some call it manipulation. I call it real life training and initiation by fire… where the stakes are high and wins/ losses are felt for real.. and there are no safety nets, no backups and no resets.
This and more are coming up in detail.. `Beginners Guide to Running Wiccan Covens’ . It’s been a work in progress ..ever since I wrote the other book, `Coven Guide: How to become an Initiated Witch’ back in 2012.
You all know I have a Physics degree/ tech background and into all the multi-media stuff. Am also very much about nature & spirituality..and striving for tech-free time/ balance in life.
Everything is becoming hyper-real and accelerated these days.. What’s the hurry..? where do we have to get to so fast? Mars? Uranus? Death? Reincarnation? Oblivion?!
We are tumbling through our lives, transplanting & embedding our minds and emotions more and more into Cyber realms.. living our lives there too..and forgetting the shadows taking shape in the Collective.. Am not talking hypothetical. Am talking thought-forms, spirits, wraith and cyber-psychic entities (there I just invented a word).
Yes people are supposed to be connected..but NOT to 100’s or 1000’s.. however superficial that might be. At those levels, individuality blurs and gets lost. If that’s what you want..fine.
There’s another danger too!! When any more than 1-2 people gather in a group, a group shadow forms within that small collective subconscious.. and it gets projected out onto its members and outsiders.. One becomes the hero another the black sheep.. Have we forgotten `Lord of the Flies’ that we all read in primary school English?! Imagine the fears, phobias, whims, wants, power-struggles, egos and other secret obsessions within each of our minds..spilling into social media..along side our posts and pictures and status updates…sliding past any obvious `filters’ and privacy settings. It’s all gathering..coalescing..in the darkness of cyber-realms that we can’t see.. And it’s reaching out tendrils to feed.. !
Those of you energy-sensitive must have realised the shifts and tremors by now surely?!!
It is really time to slow it down.. and not fall for multimillion dollar companies’ strategies, marketing and the euphoria of quick adrenalin fixes (event junkies!). Yes I know, the fear is of not getting left behind. The curiosity is in wanting to know everything. But instead of food & drinks ..we are now consumers of pixels and info bytes. It’s feeding mass amounts of useless junk into our minds on a daily basis.. Yes humans have some 80-90% brain space unused. But it;s not a hard drive to be filled with junk.. is it? There are mysteries of the mind that we can be working to unlock.. That all requires silence and stillness ..not more electronic pixellated noise!
So.. take stock now.. as I am.. !! It’s not a static process.. We’re going to have to regularly take stock and balance our cyberlives with physical lives.
ps. I totally welcome real personal relationships and connections. 🙂 Happy to have hours of sit-downs, informal lounging and tons of teas, coffees and wines.
What’s Gaslighting? A manipulative tactics employed by a person, organisation or entity to gain more power! Here’s a copy of article blog found, written by Stephanie Sarkis Ph.D. Stephanie Sarkis Ph.D. (link at the bottom).-Mani
Gaslighting is a tactic of behavior in which a person or entity, in order to gain more power, makes a victim question their reality. It works a lot better than you may think. Anyone is susceptible to gaslighting. It is a common technique of abusers, dictators, narcissists, and cult leaders. It is done slowly, so the victim doesn’t realize how much they’ve been brainwashed. In the movie Gaslight (1944), a man manipulates his wife to the point where she thinks she is losing her mind.
People that gaslight use the following techniques:
1. They tell you blatant lies.
You know it’s an outright lie. Yet they are telling you this lie with a straight face. Why are they so blatant? Because they’re setting up a precedent. Once they tell you a huge lie, you’re not sure if anything they say is true. Keeping you unsteady and off-kilter is the goal.
2. They deny they ever said something, even though you have proof.
You know they said they would do something…you know you heard it. But they out and out deny it. It makes you start questioning your reality – maybe they never said that thing. And the more they do this, the more you question your reality and start accepting theirs.
3. They use what is near and dear to you as ammunition.
They know how important your kids are to you, they know how important your identity is to you. So that is one of the first things they attack. If you have kids, they tell you that you did a disservice by having those children. They will tell you that if only you weren’t _____________, you’d be a worthy person. They attack the foundation of your being.
4. They wear you down over time.
This is one of the insidious things about gaslighting – it is done gradually, over time. A lie here, a lie there, a snide comment every so often…and then it starts ramping up. Even the brightest, most self-aware people can be sucked into gaslighting – it is that effective. It’s the “frog in the frying pan” analogy – the heat is turned up slowly, so the frog never realizes what hit it.
5. Their actions do not match their words.
When dealing with a person or entity that gaslights, look at what they are doing rather than what they are saying. What they are saying means nothing. It is just talk. What they are doing is the issue.
6. They throw in positive reinforcement to confuse you.
This person or entity that is cutting you down, telling you that you don’t have value – is now praising you for something you did. This adds an additional sense of uneasiness. You think, “Well maybe they aren’t so bad.” Yes, they are. This is a calculated attempt to keep you off-kilter – and again, question your reality. Also look at what you were praised for – it is probably something that served the gaslighter.
7. They know confusion weakens people.
Gaslighters know that all people like having a sense of stability and normalcy. Their goal is to uproot this and make you constantly question everything. And humans’ natural tendency is to look to the person or entity that will help you feel more stable – and that happens to be the gaslighter.
8. They project.
They are a drug user or a cheater – yet they are constantly accusing you of that. This is done so repetitively that you start trying to defend yourself – and are distracted from the gaslighter’s own behavior.
9. They try to align people against you.
Gaslighters are masters at manipulating and finding the people they know will stand by them no matter what – and they use these people against you. They will make comments such as “____________ knows that you’re not right”, or “___________ knows you’re useless too”. Keep in mind it does not mean that these people actually said these things. The gaslighter is a constant liar. When the gaslighter uses this tactic it makes you feel like you don’t know who to trust or turn to – and that leads you right back to the gaslighter. And that’s exactly what the want. Isolation gives them more control.
10. They tell you or others that you are crazy.
This is one of the most effective tools of the gaslighter – because it’s dismissive. The gaslighter knows if they question your sanity, people will not believe you when you tell them the gaslighter is abusive or out-of-control. It’s a master technique.
11. They tell you everyone else is a liar.
By telling you that everyone else (your family, the media) is a liar, it again makes you question your reality. You’ve never known someone with the audacity to do this, so they must be right, right? No. It’s a manipulation technique. It makes people turn more to the gaslighter for the “correct” information – which isn’t correct information at all.
The more you are aware of these techniques, the quicker you can identify them before you fall into the gaslighter’s trap.
Lammas…time of willing sacrifices.. for better quests! So, here’s a disturbing thought – will you survive without facebook/twitter/ instagram and all the other online worlds?
How much has it taken root and changed (trapped) your every day life? Do you have a fulfilling life outside it..or even when you are off-line, do you think in terms of updating your status, posting, sharing with others..?
We now have to fight this fallacy that `if we are not on online worlds, then we don’t matter, or that we are missing the best slice of bread life has to offer..’
It’s what the Transpersonal psychologists call `womb-world’ – being stuck in a place that initially provides us with protection, sustenance and warmth. Clubs, societies, communities, religious sects & cults…are all `womb-worlds’ of differing scales and magnitudes.. So is an alliance to a Nation or a flag!
There comes a time we have to get out..or be pushed out.. and be born ..as painful as that process of birth is.. into the real world.. into light!!
Have a think.. and make the right changes & sacrifices for Lammas!
Last year (March 2013) I wrote a blog post called `Cybergod Cometh- What lurks within the World Wide Web’ . It was an amusing conjecture mixed with a sort of humour that I posses which few seem to get (unless people are used to the kind of dialoguing that the late Issac Asimov- father of Robotic Laws, and Russell T Davies – previous show runner of the `new’ Doctor Who – cos my style somewhat started similar to theirs).
Imagine when I got this very abusive, highly patronising response from some random person out there in the internet!! Well, the point of a blog IS to touch those random people out there …But his post was just plain ridiculous. I sat on it for ages.. It was so clear that he was so full of his own self-importance, that he failed to grasp the finer points of blog posting.. that we can express our thoughts, ideas, facts, figures or just anything. What he also seem to have not paid attention to ..was my credentials – I have a Physics Degree, I am a Pagan Priest with quite a bit of spiritual depth, I do science-fiction fantasy both fiction and artworks!!
So anyway, as I am declutetring, deleting old drafts and such.. I thought I;d actually share that lunatic’s abusive post – with its infinite number of spelling mistakes and drivel.. I have no doubt he was actually projecting his own ego-wanking onto me, rather than make a sensible response to my amused blog post. (Oh..did I just insult him? How unprofessional of me 🙂
So, here’s the precious contribution from him.. (an exact `cut n paste’ copy) so you can enjoy his woks and have a light relief.
“…….Are you aware of what some of us actually talks about at all, and beside, this childish rubbings of idiotic notions on issues you aparently dont know mutch about.
This article and you comment just underlines the lack of anything basicly, atleats the ability to think, outside the box, can you handle it.
This is what I putt inot the coscious equation against probbalilitys/posibillity. The zero feild theory, and this site complelty parks the old dogmans and belife in the utterly simple Einstins mechanical world, where a bullet is all you have. The old theory dont even come clse to this, witch I faind fare more accurate and describse the issue beyound what I have read for Years.
And beside, this drivel may impress yyour mother, but not me.
Do you know why I fand the shitt showelling is hillarious, and whats even wurse, the crittics are based on and comming from people not even knowing what the f… some of us are talking about, you have no f… clue.
I was intending to be polite, but I forgott it, sorry but when new ideas are introduced, be shure that you actually know what you know your self, then talk. To me qurious is good, this is just premature ejaqulation of oral smapms.
Some of us..yes the real people..you and me.. we face our own darkness, shadows and demons..every single day.
Echoes of the dead, fears of the future, burdens of the past, failed promises, lost hopes, unfulfilled dreams and desires. Yes, those shadows.!
Anger, pain, despair and depressions – that darkness!!
Battles between wants for justice & vengeance, needs of the self and the selfless – those Demons!!!
And we get bombarded with gimmicks and promises, demands and commands..
Autumn and Winter are coming. I say..slow it all down.. forget a little of the atrocities out there .. draw apart a bit into your selves.. and evoke your own Spirit ..and the inner-child.. the silent one that’s suffering in the dark.. and take him or her for a happy walk.
Protect him /her from all the adult problems and projections of the outside world.
Because, no one in this entire universe can do this for your inner-child..what only you the grown-up adult can do..
So, as we go into darkness, forget Gods and Angels, Spirits of whatever that is wherever, and just.. light a guiding path for the child within!
So Brad Pit talks about standing by his woman (Angelina) when she lost 30 pounds and went through a low of all time.. and Dustin Hoffman emotionally explains the interesting thing about being a woman in Tootsie ..(`That was never comedy for me’..*tears*) ..
Do you think it’s time the rest of us men started to speak of our discoveries, our emotions, our hopes, sacrifices, dreams and nightmares.. and about the women who lifted us up.. and those who used us, abused us, envied us, feared us, toyed with us, loved us, hated us, and wanted to put us on planes and shoot it down?
Or shall we speak of those who could only see a threat and the large monstrous shadows the small boys within us cast? Shall we ordinary men speak of the darkness and light we have found in the hearts of the women in our lives?
Why must a man be praised only when he shows sensitivity to a woman or a child?
Why must he tuck his tooth, tail and claws, and submit or be vilified?
Why can’t a man’s voice be as strong as thunder and as sharp as a sword, as well as his touch be as gentle as feather and eyes soft and smokey as mist? Do we not worrhip Odin & Thor, Hern and Ares, as well as Pan and Sol and Osiris too? What of Chiron the mortally wounded warrior-Healer-Teacher? And Prometheus bringer of fire?
Isn’t it time.. for men to educate the world that we have more than just testosterone and beer flowing in our veins.. ?
There are moon-huts and red tents for women.. So isn’t it time for some Weyland-Huts and Sun-Circles..for men??
Being a modern-man is not just about a pussy-kiss, a cock-rub or a bunny-tail dabbing on our faces and arses..
It is more than a spear to the Cauldron..
Deeper than a lance to the boil, more joyous than a wand to the Chalice.
It is not about the guilt of not being sensitive or strong, providing or not, or carrying the shame of men gone before and what they have done to other women..
Being a man is about the dance of light and life in all our dark places… turning war into peace, and peace into prosperity, with Sun in our hearts, moon in our brows, and Stag-horns adorning our Crowns..
It is much much more.. ! Background :
Back in 2002, in `Unicorns’ (my then-coven), a small group of men studying transpersonal psychology with the late Maureen Brown, began to meet monthly for `Male Mysteries’ discussions, prompted by Maureen. It lasted only few months. Some years later, I went on to start Hern’s Tribe, with ideas of it being a male mysteries group..but it evolved in a different way, encompassing men and women. For a long time, I have thought about these. A few years ago, Chris Crowley mentioned something about a Wiccan Male mystery meeting..that never materialised. With the guys of Hern’s Tribe, I’ve made some explorations (closed) on this subject.. exploring fire, using animals (road kills), tool making and so on (I once had to `procure’ a dead-Stag head using only a sharp edge of a branch..and later clean it all up only with craft knife to the bone..! So let’s just say Ia m no longer `squeemish’)
The NEWS: (Male Mysteries is coming to London)
So..in 2014, look our for one or two new things.. as preparations have been already underway..for few months on the exploration of `Male Mysteries (London). A facebook page & group are already set up (secret for now)..and additional pages in my Hern’s Tribe website are being developed too.. Dates for meeting are set.. and all will surface soon 🙂
Bright Solar Blessings
Winter Solstice 2013
Rage, Power and Freedom..! Those are qualities that the Incredible Hulk has in common with the Wildman within (applies to Wild-woman too). We are not talking about the behaviour of modern day city men and women (or even the thuggish Football hooligans) who go out in packs on an evening out, (or to a match) and act out their uninhibited self after consuming drugs or alcohol. We are (well I am) talking about the psychological functions of the Primal Man or Primal woman – the deeply buried sub-personality! (We all have an inner Wildman, inner Giant, inner Dwarf, inner wise-man/ woman, inner child and so on.. ).
The Incredible Hulk factor
I was watching The Incredible Hulk on Television a few nights ago (a movie that came out few years ago) – where Bruce Banner’s father talks about these qualities which his Son possesses (when he turns into the monstrous Hulk). It’s a comic book character of course – Scientist Bruce Banner accidentally gets overdosed on gamma radiation that affects his physiology for ever- and whenever Bruce gets angry or is physically violently hurt (attacked), he goes through a startling metamorphosis – and turns into a Green Giant, that seems to act on rage. It’s only when the anger subsides that the process reverses, and Bruce resurfaces .. unable to remember anything while his Hulk persona has taken over.
In this case, it’s anger that’s triggering the process- and it’s anger we need to look at here!
Anger – a Primal instinct of self preservation
Psychologists will tell you …..Anger stems from a Self-preservation instinct.!
It may seem unlikely that in modern day, we get angry for smallest or biggest triggers- many of which don’t have any semblance of a `personal attack or risk’. So why would be bring up a `self-preservation’ instinct? Well, in ancient times, if someone attacked you, or took away one of your few possessions, it may mean life or death (survival) for you! There were no possessions of luxury (ipods, computer games, coal drinks etc). Warm cloths, personal hunting tools, corner of a communal cave, section of a hut or a tribal village- each had a purpose of personal survival… So if someone took any of it, or intruded without being welcomed, it would have been met with an `angry’ (what we call angry now) reaction of violence! Defending one’s territory, hut, village, possessions.. etc
Thankfully, unless we are getting attacked by criminals (I’ve been there many times), we don;t have to retaliate so violently. But certain things do trigger anger or rage within us. Normal anger is …well..normal. We all feel it.. at times. But rage is different. It’s all consuming, and can be violent.
Am all too familiar with anger turning me into a `Hulk’ myself. Yes Anger does sometimes tear out the self-control and releases the inner-hulk. And no, I’ve never hut anyone.. but have tended to slam doors, throw household objects on the floor, and shout at anyone who’s interactions have triggered the whole process! Very close family or friends have seen this.. sadly. But it’s entirely another matter if it happens in public – usually because of some one else has been rowdy, abusive or even physically attacking me!
In those moments, I have watched myself transform within- fear leaves, mind becomes alert (and assesses possible exits, safety and dangers to myself)..and of course I am ready to not just defend myself..but willing to attack in return! Anger seems to give a kind of adrenalin rush, super confidence and even strength …that can last long enough (5 -10 minutes at the most).. Where as people who are drugged r drunk may feel similar `false confidence and bravado’ and attempt to take on challenges (but their body is weak and uncoordinated by the influence of substances), a normal human being ..in a state of anger ..will have the jolt of confidence and has the normal senses that become acute and heightened.. The adrenalin fuels, and hormones flood to block any physical pain, so the person can spontaneously take on physically incredible tasks…(and more likely succeed too!).
Moments of Rage – a primal response
I am sure we have all been in those moments – moments of pure rage??! (If you have not been in one, either you are suppressing a natural function, or lying to yourself that you don’t get angry!)
People are all too quick to catalogue a series of human emotions.. Love, hate, Joy, anger, envy, jealousy ..and a hundred more. What’s worse, anger is seen as a negative emotion to be handled, suppressed, to be shameful off, be embarrassed about.. ! We are clouded by modern day and heavily abstract thinking.. We need to go beyond.. to before…to primal times, to truly understand this.
Am sure most people know enough Psychology to jump up and say, `It’s a flight or fight response’.. and they will be right too. But there’s more to it.
Primal humans did not have language …not in the way we do now. Primal man didn’t have the complex cognitive understanding of a hundred emotions. In fact, am quite sure there were and still are not so many `emotions’. A large amount of it is abstract, result of our intelligence trying to give everything a label. Primal man would have felt a type of raw angry emotion, if he had been threatened or hurt. The emotions would have been also similar if something he considered his was forcefully taken from him (possession). That is unless of course he is a lowly tribesman and the one who took his possession (objects, house, cattle…or even his `mate’ ) was his Tribal Chief..in which case a sort of hierarchy comes into play (and submission!). If possible, he would attack or defend, and if not possible, he would run away to safety. This is common to any animal – then and now. And Primal man would have been no exception.. !
I haven’t read anything to known this – I merely put myself in a similar situation and remove modern day complex thoughts and system from my intellectual mind.
Primal man is a few steps removed from the Ape he evolved from. And we modern people are about 10,000 years ahead of primal man!
Meet the Wild One
We don’t need a Time to go back and…to meet the primal man! We also don’t need a burst of gamma rays to trigger some internal cellular transformation. The Wildman (or Wldwoman) is within us! The millions of years of evolution that gave rise to the Primal Man who acted out of animal reflects, base emotions, and primitive instincts …are still within each one of us.. It has only been a few thousand years since that point where we have become `civilised’ (not nearly long enough for very old and long term natural conditioning to have been weened out of our human psyche!)
It is in moments of crisis, or personal threats – for those who are in touch with their inner Wild Man or Wildwoman- that rage becomes a trigger for transformation! We may have a hundred modern thoughts and intellectual constructs flooding our minds, but certain triggers put us right back in the realm of the Primal Man and Woman!
When that trigger occurs, the inner Wildman or Wildwoman is released. Or rather, we become strongly in touch with that primal self that is burried under all those layers. And in expressing that un-civilised state, which is otherwise curtailed by our everyday systems , social stigmas, conditioning and legal framework, and in becoming unanswerable at any one or reason for a brief flashing moment…. the chains of social conditioning, expectations and all that break and fall away! And we experience personal power..and our potential for doing anything we dare… true Freedom!
The Green Man imagery that pagans often worship, honour and talk about – has some deeper ideas behind it. He is often thought of as the Spirit of Nature, symbol of spring, symbol of Fertility. But am sure there are many who have experienced that wild energy in outdoor rituals wil tell you- The Green Man is also about raw Power and Force of nature. (Every time I’ve stripped off my normal cloths, got into a Greenman mask & outfit..I experience that transformation…of freedom and power! Am sure some of you have done that before!)
Running Wild in the Forests
Some 20 years ago, long before I was a western pagan interested in doing rituals, or shamanism or any of that, and long before I ever became interested in Psychology & Counselling, I was attracted to outdoor places.. woodlands and forests.. And sometimes, when the mood has taken me, I have taken off all my cloths, put then somewhere safe, and allowed myself to be a Human-animal. While fully aware, I have enjoyed the freedom that comes from ..not walking about naked in a forest…but crawling about on the forest floor through bushes and on rocks and gravel (yes there’s been the odd scratches). I have avoided people, and allowed myself to experience a strange sense of freedom. I have crawled in the Sun and even in the storms.. and I have growled, prowled, ran, crawled and explored the world from a low point of view.
And one thought has often occured (before or after those explorations). What if one day I go into the woods and never come back? What if I allow the Human animal full freedom.. and it forgets who it was? What if rationale and human intellect just peels away ..and the Human-animal that I am runs free? Yes, am sure psychologists would give it all sorts of explanations. Am aware of all that. They’d even give it all sorts of analysis and diagnosis…and I am aware of that too. Twenty years ago, I was unaware of Psychology or Spirituality, about trance, shamanism and western paganism. ..and about invoking Gods and Goddesses into Priests and Priestesses. (Now I do).
The feeling of Freedom and being immersed in my power- that has been tainted by so many years of social conditioning..
But more and more, I remember those old feelings of running Wild in the Forest in thunder storms .. ! The Primal Man is still within.. and breaking at the bones to come out!
Here’s a thing- you try it out, and then you’ll really know what I am talking about!! 🙂
Note about Hern’s Tribe: About 8 years ago, I started an outdoor shamanic ritual group called `Hern’s Tribe’ – which tends to meet 8 or more times a year alreays outdoors (rain or shine) to gather, socialise and do rituals. Tribal cultures, their systems and ways have always interested me.. for the hidden primal powers they posses. Read more about Hern’s Tribe.
As most know, I follow Jonathan Cainer – astrologer!
I began reading his daily forecasts in news paper about 15 yrs ago, back in my Home Office trolley pushing `Admin Assistant’ days.. I’ve grown to like his character and his witty, cryptic way of offering forecasts. And I’ve studied his forecasts while looking at the transits from an Ephemeris on my own birth-chart, to work out (reverse engineer!) how news paper sun-sign forecasts are done.. (Thank you Jonathan Cainer. I have given thanks to you in my new eBook `Astrology for Eclipse Magicians’ – kindle version 🙂
My own calculations and working out transits on my charts (I did that few months ago) indicated that my life is about to go through some intense phases.. There were 2-3 important factors..
Saturn moves out from my house of Creativity (which gave me hope that finally my creative lessons are learnt and I will start to make much progress.. A year or so of hard work at home writing is now beginning to see results…as my books start coming out one by one ..almost off a production line.. – 3 so far and 2 to come out… just at various stages of edit or format)
Pluto squares my natal Uranus – affecting my house of transformation & house of creativity – This means that in general my life was about to go through a major death, rebirth and intense transformation period (am still in the middle of it..!) Power struggles are part of this transit.. as are control, manipulation etc. As it’s a square, it’s about experiencing these and trying to act. (squares force you into incredible mental gymnastics and expect action.. Compromises are for oppositions, but squares are about taking action to resolve issues).
Saturn in my work & duty sector was opposing natal saturn in my friendship & social sector- This is quite major – half the pain of a saturn-return..more or less.. I expected clashes of authority – mine & others. But it was bigger than just that. It was to affect the way I work, the way I think of duty, service, serving others, as much as the areas of community, friendships, social situations.
Anyone with basic astrology knowledge of houses will agree more or less with these.
Well, in addition to my own calculations, I also purchased Jonathan Cainer’s 3 month personal forecast for myself – and quite a lot of similar conformations, and new elements I had not been aware of. Effectively it is about my midlife crisis – working out where i have been and what matters and where I am going!
All these things have now started to come to pass.
At some future point, I shall tell the whole story – not now, as am busy with my creative ventures (even as I write this, my `public history’ is either being erased or re-written by others in positions of authority.
But reading Jonathan Cainer’s forecast for Sagittarius (few days ago) got me amused..
“Mistakes are easy to make. By this, I don’t just mean that they are easy for you to make. They are equally easy for us all to make. The people who think that they are somehow immune to this rule and have mastered the art of error avoidance, are, of course, the most mistaken of all. Let us keep that in mind, this weekend, as you now find yourself compensating for what could be considered as a series of mistaken judgements. What matters, is not what went wrong but what can now be done to make something right.” (www.Cainer.com)
There are people out there who have judged me as having made all sorts of mistakes. And now the rest of them are saying, `let it go’. Quite convenient ..for them, if I just did `let go’. ..wouldn’t it? The biggest mistaken judgement I ever made in the recent decade is trusting so many people, and championing other people’s causes and their organisations.. While I compensate for other people’s group shadow projections on me, I find that my own projections on others have now broken..
I was checking Jonathan Cainer’s forecast for my sign today.. This is what he says.
“We spoke yesterday about moving goalposts and changing rules. It remains true that you are not in a stable situation. Things do keep altering. But you can either let this be a source of enormous irritation or an excuse to start instigating some adjustments of your own. Under the influence of the eclipse, the only question you really have to ask yourself is, are you being fair to the essence or the spirit of an agreement, even if it seems as if nobody is being very true to the letter of the law as it was last laid down?”
This has got me thinking…that close people often complain (in the nicest way) that I keep changing things…Well, my explanations have always been that it’s because factors have changed, people who are committed to ventures with me have changed their levels of commitments or participation etc, and so I’ve had to alter things. In a modern day where everything is going fast at 300mph, how can anyone expect me to stick to my promises, even thought the governing factors are in flux? Yes, I do get that some things need to be stable, and fixed so that it gives security for others to build on.. BUT I have found myself to be rather tired that it’s me who is expected to remain stable and un-changing, while all else have the freedom (laziness at times) and luxury to weave in and out without firm promises and commitments of their own to me.
So erm, I’ve zapped that rule. Am not obliged to keep any promises I made to anyone (except my marriage vows of course). This i n many ways is Freedom!
The late Maureen Brown – Wiccan High Priestess & professional Psychotherapist – one who taught me 2 years worth of trans-personal psychology & counselling techniques – would be proud!