Feelings are like horses.. they will run wild and free in all directions..
IF you want the horse to take you somewhere, you have to put in the hard work of managing the horse.. train it, tame it, mount it and steer it..
Many people get clogged up by feelings and attempt to do magical work when not in a stable emotional state .. Others let their feelings derail them from starting or completing important magical work..
Neither are going to be productive..
Remember that in the transpersonal elemental work, the West/ emotions is in the opposite direction to East/ Mind.
The way to tackle the emotional entanglement is by untangling knots with mind and thought..and then as hard as it may `feel’ ..staying with logical decisions.
Mind is the stirrup that steers the Horse of emotions..
Energy and power may come from the Heart, but Mind is where magic is done..
Ride the Horse well, don’t fall off..and don’t let it trample you.. !
Forget the planet for a minute!
Some of us..yes the real people..you and me.. we face our own darkness, shadows and demons..every single day.
Echoes of the dead, fears of the future, burdens of the past, failed promises, lost hopes, unfulfilled dreams and desires. Yes, those shadows.!
Anger, pain, despair and depressions – that darkness!!
Battles between wants for justice & vengeance, needs of the self and the selfless – those Demons!!!
And we get bombarded with gimmicks and promises, demands and commands..
Autumn and Winter are coming. I say..slow it all down.. forget a little of the atrocities out there .. draw apart a bit into your selves.. and evoke your own Spirit ..and the inner-child.. the silent one that’s suffering in the dark.. and take him or her for a happy walk.
Protect him /her from all the adult problems and projections of the outside world.
Because, no one in this entire universe can do this for your inner-child..what only you the grown-up adult can do..
So, as we go into darkness, forget Gods and Angels, Spirits of whatever that is wherever, and just.. light a guiding path for the child within!
Are you getting aggressive in relationships? Social situations…in the company of certain people? Here are some thoughts.. that might help you.. (cos we all like someone else to say, `it’s okay’ to us sometimes) 🙂
Passion is one thing.. but when some people are eliciting certain aggressions in you ..more often than not.. there are possibly two and only two things at play –
a) it’s stirring your shadows..
b) they are neither like-minded nor compatible with you.
So what’s this stirring shadow business? Well, the actions or statements those people make are making you angry, because it’s a suppressed part of you.. and rather than accept that `dark’ area in you, it’s easier to get angry at or even hate that other person!
One way forward is to look deeper at your self.. privately…just you, yourself and you! And admit (at the very least) those issues and suppressions you have…and figure out a way to deal with it.. either let loose (if it’s not harming anyone), integrate into conscious mind, seek external support/ therapy etc.
Now if you are not ready to work on your Shadows, that’s your prerogative.. Dealing with it in your own time is fine and don’t let others force you into a schedule or an agenda! (That’s just bound to get you worked up even more ..right? )
But ask the question, if it is more about the not being like-minded or incompatibility, and you are always having to compromise or worse sacrifice your own needs/wants, (which would just create inner resentment and builds up aggression).. why put up with a thorn in your paw..? (ie why keep that person(s) in your life? That is just masochism..! It’s even possibly linked to all sorts of low-self-worth issues, self-esteem, lack of confidence, disempowered states, co-dependency and such.. (all very deep and complex areas…and deserve more exploration than a few lines here..!)
Just take out the thorn from your paw, and get on with a peaceful life!!
There are far more and better things to do.. !!
Best wishes on this friday! 🙂
Will you take the Red Pill or the Blue Pill? Yes there are other pills too ..but these matter!! What am I talking about? If you remember the film The Matrix, you’ll know what I am talking about! In the early moments of their encounter, Morpheus was saying to Neo in The Matrix.. take one of them and forget the truth..and go back to the false dream-like reality.. Take the other, and you wake up to reality.. and can never go back! He takes the right pill.. (never mind the colour)..accepts reality.. his body is unplugged..and rejected..ejected.. from the Matrix of fantasies.. and his real life begins (in a mixture of suffocation, loss, pain, slime, and struggles!)
Birth is hard!!
Though we are all born, and have been living in the World, so many are stuck in many `womb-worlds’ – clogged and cluttered by needs, dependencies, having signed away their freedom in order to loyally support an ideal, a country, allegiance to a flag, a football team, a tribe, an organisation, a group, a relationships, and so many other things.. !
Within the womb, the unborn child is in a state of total safety and security, but also dependency. It has it’s every need taken care of.. warmth, food..and even a playmate! Yes, that placenta ..the twin ..the Soul-mate of the unborn.. ! (And don’t we then spend the rest of our lives searching for that lost soul-mate.. the `someone’ who is missing!!)
But the moment the baby is born.. through the pain and pressure of birth canal.. from dark..through tunnel to a world of sudden blinding light. the the safe womb-world is lost! Soul-mate is gone.. It has to go from being a quasi-reptilian, amphibian to an air-breathing being.. and wait to be fed. No tubes..no more.. No food and oxygen on tap.. through the umbilical cord. No ready-made warmth of the womb. ..and no mother’s heart-beat ..that steady drum that has been in your ear..and permeating trough your whole body non-stop for a whole 9 months…gone! (that’s why drum beats always affect us!!)
And the tunnel of pain and birth.. ah..you look for that too! The passage of rejection from womb-world.. You search for it.. and hope you find it at the end of your days… at death.. the tunnell..leading to light! Your memories got screwed up.. you equate the moment of birth into world of light.. through the mother’s vulva, as life after death..
Having been thrown out of Eden (womb), the inner child…is always looking for the pearly gates of vulva..to heaven…back to the sacred womb…!
To be born is hard.. It means you have to be 100% self-sufficient.. No twin. No food in tubes. You have to breath! You have to open your eyes now..and look at a world of Light and dark..not just the dark of the womb! You can not float anymore in that secure slosh of amniotic fluid! You have to stand up..and walk! Let your spin and muscles support.. !!
It also means you are free.. to make your choices.. to walk your path…choose the roads you can travel.. choose your destinations!
Take the Option now.. to be born!
No one likes a cry-baby (except mothering types). No one likes a winge-bag (except the gossip-mongers and rumour-millers).
Stop looking for death..your body is dying since the moment of your birth.. but new cells are always growing to replace the dead ones.. At some point, that balance will shift.. But long before that, Live!!
Well.. I still haven’t talked about Infinity, and the quantum realities that you can manipulate..
That’s for another blog post 🙂
Happy New You!
ps. Thanks to the late Maureen Brown, Wiccan High Priestess, Psychologist, Professional Counsellor, mother of 3, and grandmother, friend to hundreds, and rebel to many….for introducing me to Womb-world.
O, to be a Man in modern times:
So Brad Pit talks about standing by his woman (Angelina) when she lost 30 pounds and went through a low of all time.. and Dustin Hoffman emotionally explains the interesting thing about being a woman in Tootsie ..(`That was never comedy for me’..*tears*) ..
Do you think it’s time the rest of us men started to speak of our discoveries, our emotions, our hopes, sacrifices, dreams and nightmares.. and about the women who lifted us up.. and those who used us, abused us, envied us, feared us, toyed with us, loved us, hated us, and wanted to put us on planes and shoot it down?
Or shall we speak of those who could only see a threat and the large monstrous shadows the small boys within us cast? Shall we ordinary men speak of the darkness and light we have found in the hearts of the women in our lives?
Why must a man be praised only when he shows sensitivity to a woman or a child?
Why must he tuck his tooth, tail and claws, and submit or be vilified?
Why can’t a man’s voice be as strong as thunder and as sharp as a sword, as well as his touch be as gentle as feather and eyes soft and smokey as mist? Do we not worrhip Odin & Thor, Hern and Ares, as well as Pan and Sol and Osiris too? What of Chiron the mortally wounded warrior-Healer-Teacher? And Prometheus bringer of fire?
Isn’t it time.. for men to educate the world that we have more than just testosterone and beer flowing in our veins.. ?
There are moon-huts and red tents for women.. So isn’t it time for some Weyland-Huts and Sun-Circles..for men??
Being a modern-man is not just about a pussy-kiss, a cock-rub or a bunny-tail dabbing on our faces and arses..
It is more than a spear to the Cauldron..
Deeper than a lance to the boil, more joyous than a wand to the Chalice.
It is not about the guilt of not being sensitive or strong, providing or not, or carrying the shame of men gone before and what they have done to other women..
Being a man is about the dance of light and life in all our dark places… turning war into peace, and peace into prosperity, with Sun in our hearts, moon in our brows, and Stag-horns adorning our Crowns..
It is much much more.. !
Back in 2002, in `Unicorns’ (my then-coven), a small group of men studying transpersonal psychology with the late Maureen Brown, began to meet monthly for `Male Mysteries’ discussions, prompted by Maureen. It lasted only few months. Some years later, I went on to start Hern’s Tribe, with ideas of it being a male mysteries group..but it evolved in a different way, encompassing men and women. For a long time, I have thought about these. A few years ago, Chris Crowley mentioned something about a Wiccan Male mystery meeting..that never materialised. With the guys of Hern’s Tribe, I’ve made some explorations (closed) on this subject.. exploring fire, using animals (road kills), tool making and so on (I once had to `procure’ a dead-Stag head using only a sharp edge of a branch..and later clean it all up only with craft knife to the bone..! So let’s just say Ia m no longer `squeemish’)
The NEWS: (Male Mysteries is coming to London)
So..in 2014, look our for one or two new things.. as preparations have been already underway..for few months on the exploration of `Male Mysteries (London). A facebook page & group are already set up (secret for now)..and additional pages in my Hern’s Tribe website are being developed too.. Dates for meeting are set.. and all will surface soon 🙂
Bright Solar Blessings
Winter Solstice 2013
Have you been tried in emotionally charged Kangaroo Courts?
When a bunch of people say they want to `clear the air’, call you to a friendly meeting in their home-grounds, beware that shadow pack-mentality is already in play behind the scenes, and their subconscious minds are looking for ways to hammer you into some sort of submissions. Sadly their minds are already projecting their own shadows on you..and it’s because you are `not accepting’ that they’ve become disgruntled suddenly.. They will keep looking to find behavioral evidence in you that proves they were right about you after all. Anything and.. sadly everything you say.. will be taken as evidence against you..and used to prove only your guilt. It’s a no-justice situation.. !
Question of intention:
Personal meetings start with best of intentions..or so it will seem (groups of friends, in membership organisations, private family circumstances). But the question is …do you or others want a real resolution, or are you all just gunning for someone’s guts under a pretense of `clearing the air’?
Transpersonal concepts to look up (if you really are interested)
- Ego & super-Ego
- Projections and Projection Breaking
- Transference and Counter transference.
a) Avoid meeting in their home-grounds. Neutral places are very important. You need to feel safe and secure, as much as others!
b) Starting states: Are you are already starting with apprehensions, possibly a sense of persecution? Except lawyers, no one goes in to such meetings without apprehensions. Having a friend there is a good idea.
c) Are you a Chicken? Beware goading tactics by others – your confidence or calm posture is the first things people tend to `attack’ (consciously or not). Bombarding you with issues, bringing up real vulnerable old issues are ways others can keep you off your balance. `challenging you’ into a corner, ie asking if you can handle things or not (goading your ego) is another tactics lawyers and naturally clever people use ..
d) If one or more party declares they are not in a good emotional place (due to other factors) or tired from a long day of work etc.. have the common sense and decency to postpone..especially if a postponement has been asked for. Don’t then throw emotional manipulation and force the meeting to go ahead anyway! Physical or emotionally tired situations bring out inner-child tantrums ..it’s grossly unfair and counter-productive to what you ALL are trying or hoping to achieve, and these meetings need to be between adults..not your inner-children.. Playground is best for kids.. not reconcilliation meetings!!
e) During meeting, make sure all parties are seated in a balanced way…no one sitting on a higher chair or lower than others (believe me, that’s actually a clever disempowerment technique! )
f) Find a neutral 3rd party `facilitator’ …not one who is involved in the situation, or has strong bonds with the others (or with you). And when a `facilitator’ has no counselling or psychology training, and is the one self-appointed or appointed by the other parties, that is already a clouded objective situation..!
g) Do not represent your self.. You simply can’t when you are in a highly charged emotional state..and what you say will only be used against you. Even hardcore criminals have lawful proper representations!
h) When others star by saying, we are all friends / family here and this is not a confrontation but a chance to clear the air or resolve matters – don’t fall for that. They may mean well but human nature quickly takes over..and so does mud-slinging, tit-for-tat cleverness, bullying, reverse psychology, playing the victim, turning on the tears and so on. Unless you are God or a Saint, one tiny negative (even perceived) comment WILL evoke an internal defensive or retaliation reaction. Those will simmer and work in your or their subconscious through out, and will seek expression – not immediately, but 5 minutes, 10mins, 2 hrs or even 5 months later!
i) It is best to enter these `meetings’ with plenty of safeguards of neutrality, objectivity and arbitration.. There is huge potential for making matters worse!
j) When someone keeps accusing another of a particular action, there is 50 – 50 chance that a) they are making a real observation and/or b) they are projecting their own `stuff’
k) `I hear you’ is not the same as `I understand’.. and `I understand’ stated in the heat of a meeting does not necessarily mean they or you do understand on an emotional level. Thinking & Feeling are on opposite ends of the spectrum in Psychology!
l) Often a single meeting is never enough to get to the heart of issues. Time needs to pass for all to absorb what each other have said, and further meet-ups are required..
I shall look through my years of Counselling & Psychology training notes, and add more tips here later..
ps. Originally posted as a `Note’ in my facebook page. Find me on facebook ..look for my page.. Mani Navasothy
We’ve all been to parties – school parties, house parties, hen-parties, stag-parties, office parties, fancy-dress parties, fetish ones, gothic ones, formal ones, open ones, private ones, weddings, clubs, even funerals ..launch parties for books & films and so on.
What happens there is a complex mix of interactions between people – ones who organise, ones for whom it is organised, ones who attend, ones who are invited, ones who gate-crash (sneakily attend without invitation!). Complex but a goldmine for psychologists and observers (yes, they attend too!).
Some years ago, in my Transpersonal Psychology & Counselling training course, we spent a whole weekend (a full saturday & sunday) studying the psychology of parties- and then we had a party on the evening at the end of it. Yeah, how’s that for a bit of mental work-out? We had all just learnt all the many things.. and yet, we just observed ourselves undergoing behavior patterns – exactly as the psychology predicts!
That’s the beauty of psychology – knowing it doesn’t make one exempt from it! The people who think they know so much that they can control their own behaviors and hide from other people’s observations (or worse, manipulate other people’s behavior) are just kidding themselves – because other Psychologists can spot patterns miles away – unless of course they themselves are either very drunk or very drugged up or just too busy in other amorous activities!
Firstly, a party that is organised by someone for whatever reasons or causes – is all about the person organising it. It is all about them! Not a bad thing at all, but am just saying. It can be to feel-good about their self, their life and it’s achievements, celebration, marking an event, making a political statement etc. And everyone else is there to willingly support that person(s) at the heart of the party!
But of course, everyone who attends is doing so ..inwardly.. for themselves! They attend on the front to support the cause or person, but each attendee has at least one or more personal agenda(s). To make friends, to show off their own achievements, to procure support for their own causes and ventures, wheeling & dealing, networking, seducing others, building empires of their own, plot to destroy other empires & groups & business et are all personal motivations. And each person attending makes so much effort to look good and presentable in a way they plan – even the shambolic `I am a rebel and I don’t dress-up’ type is doing so to make that point. If they did not attend, they can not make that statement- can they?
Some business people spend a large part of their operational hours in parties & socials, or even organising them. It is not for the purpose of spending their hard earned wealth. But rather, it is to create opportunities of interactions, where in what appears to be a social tone, business transactions & agreements can take place much easily! Product launches, Fashion shows, Art Exhibitions, Fundraiser events, High-end Auctions & biding are example where this type of interactions take place.
This brings another important perspective – to make a statement or show off or serve the self, each person needs an audience or an arena. They either create their own arenas elsewhere, or attend another person’s arena (party) and hi-jack part of it, or do both! Even the rebellious people attend other people’s parties – because they require this arena. And in attending someone else’s arena, they are coming within the sphere of influence of the organiser. This may sit uncomfortably with the rebels, but they put up with this, as it affords them a new set of audience! This is one reason why we often find opponents of politics or some other ventures still attend their opponent’s party. And the one inviting his or her opponent does not like to do so, as it is as good as letting their own empire be used, but not inviting an opponent can send the message that the organiser is weak. So it goes on.
In normal domestic parties (and the notorious Office party at Christmas!), people tend to have different and personal agendas. There it is one of befriending co-workers whom they have fancied or admired from afar for months! Befriending or in some cases, seducing – for the purpose of either starting a long or short sexual encounters! One-night stands and heart-aches the week after…usually! Here a dangerous type operates – one who stalks others and waits for an opportune moment of vulnerability on their `prey’s part! Here alcohol, cigarettes and drugs play a role too.
There is of course the case of using alcohol or recreational drugs to `get under the influence’ . Often, the user is willingly letting this happen – either allowing someone else to supply them with excessive substance, or the user just consumes the alcohol/drugs that they themselves have a direct access to. Reasons and motivations vary – to relax and switch off their minds, to gain some self-confidence, to shake off personal responsibility (and afterwards blame their potential wild behaviors on the substance), to forget personal troubles, or just to loose themselves for a few hours!
These are of course extreme observations and examples of behaviors found it parties, and any sort of celebratory gatherings! The purpose of this blog is not to criticize or condemn anyone, as many of us have at one point or other done one or more of these. But it is a reminder to us all, that Parties are not as care-free as we like to think. In many cases, parties are extremely hard work (and am not even referring to the behind-the-scene organizing).
People attend with one thought in mind – and more often than not- people surface with other issues which can take days, weeks or months to process and accept. For example, a one-night stand at a party can either lead to a long term relationship, or an unwanted pregnancy that traumatic changes the lives of the two people and perhaps their friends too. A casual encounter can lead to a fantastic business deal or venture, or careless disclosure can expose privacy and confidential issues, and potentially bring down a group, a business or an empire of sort!
Next time you attend a party – have a thought, then have a drink, and enjoy the psychology of it all 🙂
ps. I must acknowledge the late Maureen Brown, Psychologist and Counselor for her teachings in this area!